I neglected to get this published in today's classifieds, so I thought I would post it here.
House for rent. Located in West Jordan, on a great little street called Cedar Hill, nestled at the foot of the Oquirrh mountains. Available for immediate occupancy.
Please do not apply if you do any of the following:
#1 If your trashcans look like this on Tuesday, and the pickup is not until Friday. You must bring your cans in from the curb right after the pickup and not leave them out 24/7 for a straight year.#2 You must take care of the property. This sod was planted last summer, and doesn't it just look lovely now?#3 If you smoke, you must not throw your cigarette butts on our property next door.
#4 You must keep your vehicles on your property. Not 6 "abandoned looking" vehicles parked in the street for weeks on end. Not a humongous trailer full of trash parked on our property and blocking the sidewalk. Just your couple of cars, parked in your garage or driveway. Is that too much to ask??
#5 You must not yell at me, accuse me of wrongdoing, or call me an idiot in front my 3 young children.
#6 You must close your blinds when you are using the bathroom, or doing other "private" activities. #7 You must not waste water by scrubbing the asphalt street in front of your house at least once a week, in your nightgown.
#8 You must not have 8-10 adults living in the home, with 4-5 small children as well.
#9 You must at least explain to me why the many women in your household take a taxi everywhere, while there are 8 cars parked outside.
#10 Last but not least, if I come over to put out a kitchen fire for you, with MY fire extinguisher, you could at least say thank you.
By the way, we really do need good renters next door. If you, or anyone you know is interested, please let me know! I can hardly contain my excitement as they are loading their trailer as we speak!